Hello all, and thank you for checking in. My regular Sunday morning post will be delayed into the evening. I’ve just returned home from my Norwegian cruise, and I’m exhausted. I have most of the post ready, but couldn’t get it completed in time, and my eyes are closing.

Please check back later in the day, and I hope to have the post live by 9pm.

Hello and welcome back to another impromptu post.  We’re still at sea, and as I type this on the morning of the 20th June, we are somewhere in the Arctic on our way to Honningsvåg.  This will be our second time as we also stopped here in 2023.  It’s the most northern of Norway’s cities, and has some stunning scenery.  

In my last post I discussed our time walking the llamas in Skjolden.  Since then we have visited two other ports; Olden and Trondheim.

Note: I wanted to add many more pictures but my internet connection is poor.

Olden

Olden may be the most stunning and beautiful place I have ever seen.  It is a small settlement of scattered houses spread across the various mountain sides at the end of the fjord.  The way the mountains rise and curve up on either side can give the illusion of being inside an O’Neil cylinder; a vast rotating drum in which the spinning produces gravity.  I’ve now been to Olden three times and each time I’m there I’m reminded of a line from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. 

When Kirk looks at the newly created Genesis planet he says, “I feel young again.”  When you have vast mountain ranges, clear waters from the fjord, and waterfalls cascading down from the snowcapped peaks, it’s impossible to feel any other way.  If I was to build a house in Norway, Olden would be high on the list of places I would consider.

Those of you who have been with me since the beginning will remember that it was on my first cruise to Norway that my FI ambitions started to take form.  Back then, in 2019, I was on a TUI cruise around Norway and I spent some of the downtime between ports listening to various FI related audiobooks.  I had already been investing for a few years but it was a scattergun approach, rather than anything focused and organised.  

The only downside to Olden this year was that I was feeling pretty rough.  It took me quite a while to come around but I was still able to enjoy the surroundings.  As we left the ship, the small trains that run on the road were waiting to pick up tourists.  A guided tour is offered which runs for around 80 minutes, and takes you round some of the points of interest in Olden.  There’s an audio commentary as well, and there’s something endearing about the Scandinavian accent; it’s one of those I could listen to all day.

Once the tour was over we spent some time in the shops which make up the town, and then went for a mini hike up some of the roads up the mountains to get a better view of the fjord.  One thing you notice about Norway is just how clean it is, and how well maintained the towns and cities are.  Norway has a fantastic standard of living, much of which is down to the responsible way the country has managed its finances.  Whole books could be written on the subject, but the long and short of it is that Norway has the biggest sovereign wealth fund on Earth.  It equates to something like $3.5M for each citizen.  With such wealth, they are able to offer incredible infrastructure and public services.  The reach of their fund is long and diverse, and they even own the major shopping centre, Meadowhall, in my home city of Sheffield.

Trondheim

The day after Olden we arrived in Trondheim which was the first large Norwegian city we have seen on this cruise.  We first visited Trondheim in 2023 and not much has changed.  The only difference between then and now is that it was hot and sunny in 2023, whereas this time it was raining pretty much constantly.  

I was looking forward to this port as I knew there was good coffee available.  The coffee on board the ship is… well… how do I politely say it tastes like stale dumpster juice?  There’s a small chain of coffee shops in Norway called Espresso House.  The three of us homed in on it like laser guided missiles and got coffees and a carrot cake muffin.  Now, I must stress that this place does an amazing carrot cake muffin, and even Oana likes it and she doesn’t normally go for carrot cake.

Trondheim feels as though it could be in any of the western European countries, as it’s vibrant and full of interesting architecture.  Once again we were impressed by the cleanliness of the city and the friendliness of the people.  One thing that surprised me was how much we saw Norwegians communicating with each other in English.  I’m assuming they were Norwegian, but we saw this several times in different places so it can’t have just been a one off. 

Once we were caffeinated we visited a church in the centre of town.  Oana and I have been there before but we wanted to show my Dad.  None of us are religious but we have an appreciation for history and art.  This church was basic and lacking any of the tacky, in your face, opulence that the Catholic church is guilty of.  Just inside the entrance there is an area where volunteers prepare fresh food and hot drinks for those in need.  I’m not quite sure if it’s just for the homeless, the poor, or simply for anyone wanting company, but it’s still a nice thing to see that the people are treated with dignity and compassion.

We then made our way to the Starbucks to acquire more of their mugs.  I had a Norway one from our first cruise but back then I used these mugs to drink from.  I’ve become a bit more serious about collecting them since, and my Norway mug was faded from the dishwasher.  I couldn’t find one on my last visit but I was in luck this time.  So far on this trip I’ve added Edinburgh, Scotland, and Norway mugs to my collection.

Once we had secured the mugs we wanted we walked over to Nidaros Cathedral; the largest cathedral of its type in the world, which took over 250 years to complete.  The stone work is incredible, and although the inside had some art, sculptures, and incredible stained glass, it was much more tasteful than the pound-shop looking atrocities that some cathedrals have.  

Our next item of business was trekking up to the Kristiansten fort.  Oana and I recalled a lengthy climb up several roads that left us winded.  It was a scorching hot day back then, whereas it was rainy and cool this time.  As a result, the climb was not so hard.  The wet weather made the visit a little uncomfortable but we still had fun, especially inside the fort as we read up on the history of the place, and climbed up to the higher floors of the fortress itself.

After finishing up at the fort we had seen everything we wanted to see in Trondheim, and had left some time to just have a stroll and see where the day took us.  Unfortunately, due to the weather, it took us back to the ship.  We tried finding somewhere to eat but no where took our fancy.  Time was against us so we couldn’t go anywhere too out of the way, and so we made our way back to the ship.

Sky Princess

The Sky Princess is a massive ship.  Not quite the biggest cruise ship in the world, but it’s definitely up there.  It has 19 decks, although 18 and 19 are partial decks.  On the subject of which, can anyone tell me why some ships have their decks in ascending order and some in descending order?  Our cabin is on deck 17, in the forward-starboard area.  

There are several restaurants, bars, and dining rooms on board.  Our usual haunt is the marketplace on deck 16, but on the day we left Trondheim we decided to give the dining room a try.  Oana and I had tried this on our last cruise and it wasn’t good.  Sadly, it’s not improved since.  For those who don’t know the difference between a restaurant and a dining room on this ship; the dining rooms are included in your package.  Some items have a surcharge, but most of the menu is included.  It’s a more traditional, sit-down, restaurant-style service.  The food seems tailored to the elderly and is often soft, and bland.  It’s one of those where the spiciest seasoning they use is seemingly plain flour.  

None of us finished our food and instead went back to deck 16 for a little something else.  Two highlights for food onboard are the pizza place on deck 16, which serves by the slice, and The Salty Dog which serves burgers, hot dogs, fried chicken, and fries.  Their burgers and hot dogs are very decent and it’s always popular at lunch time.  

After leaving Trondheim we set sail for Honningsvag which left us with a day at sea.  We had booked for the steak restaurant on board, Crown Grill, which you pay $55 extra per person.  The food was, pardon my language, dogshit.  For starter there were four options; a tartare, two salads each containing either blue cheese or fish, and a crab cake.  Oana doesn’t do fish and my Dad doesn’t do most fish or blue cheese.  So, tartare all around.

A good steak tartare should be finely diced, but some people will use mince or ground beef.  It’s always better with diced beef though as you want the meat to retain some texture.  The tartare we were served had the texture of pureed beef, and that’s the only way I can think to describe it.  This wasn’t the worst problem with the dish though.  Although not stated anywhere on the menu (we double checked after) the dish contained caviar.

Two of the tartare were sent back and returned without fish eggs, but the texture of the dish was just wrong and gross.  Some of the best ones I’ve had, have been where the plate is prepped at the table so you can add your own ingredients to taste.  The closest thing I could compare this to was dog food.

In fairness the steaks were good.  On a scale of 1-10, where 1 is rare and 10 is cremated, I tend to prefer my steak around 4.  Mine was maybe a 3-4 but it was still good.  The side dishes were underwhelming, and in some cases missing completely.  

For dessert we ordered the triple chocolate treasure but it tasted like soap, or dishwasher liquid.  It was bizarre.  All in all, I’d say at least a third, maybe more, of the food we were served went back.  We were asked about our food precisely once, and the waitress left before we could answer.  When our plates were collected there was not a single question about the large amounts of food left. 

Overall the service was poor from the moment we arrived, so we made our complaints to guest services.  Whether anything comes of it, we will have to wait and see. 

Honningsvag

We arrived in Honningsvag in the midmorning of Saturday, and after a chilled breakfast onboard we left to explore the area.  Honningsvag is the most northern settlement in continental Europe, and has a population of roughly 2,000.  Our plan was to have a walk through the town, and then climb the mountain, Storfjellet, to get views over the mountains.  It was a tough climb over uneven rocks until we hit the Sherpa Steps which were finished in 2023.  It’s a series of approximately 3,000 steps set down on a path up the mountain.  Just when you think you’ve reached the summit, you realise it was a false alarm and there’s another few hundred steps ahead.  Eventually, we made it to the summit and had a brief rest.  The journey back down was, in many ways, more difficult.  Your steps have to be more precise, and it’s a different strain on the leg muscles.  

Those who know me well understand that I like to troll people from time to time.  It occurred to me on the way down that I should have placed a sign around 85% of the way up to the top simply stating; “Halfway”.

Once we made it back down we went back to the ship to freshen up and have some lunch, before venturing back out to the town to wander around some more.  We went out on a little pier, and strolled some of the residential streets.  We were all aching and tired, and decided to stop for a coffee and cake at a little cafe we had seen earlier.  We went in and it was empty except for a young woman working on a laptop, and a dude in the back behind a glass partition who was preparing some pastries.  He glanced up a few times as we waited at the counter, and again as we waited some more, but he seemed content to ignore us whilst he worked in the back..  After five minutes Oana popped her head around the partition and asked if they were actually open.  They were, but the person prepping the pastries said the woman serving was in the bathroom. I mean, I get it when nature calls. No issue with that whatsoever. All it would have taken was the guy to acknowledge us with a quick hello and to tell us to take a seat and someone will be with us shortly. That’s literally all it would have taken. We ended up leaving.

Just to emphasise, we didn’t leave just because someone was in the bathroom.  It was the complete lack of any acknowledgement or greeting as we were just left waiting at the counter. 

I’m now picking up writing this on Saturday evening at 19:20 Norwegian time.  We are due to leave the port within the hour as we head for Tromso.  Last time we were in Tromso we had an amazing breakfast at a deli-cafe, and we reserved a table for our next visit before we left the UK!

This cruise has been much better in many respects that our last cruise.  On the whole, the food and service have been much better.  There’s been some hiccups but when you’re talking about 15 days, three meals a day plus snacks, having more hits than misses is a good record.  

On the subject of good service, we had marked down a special occasion for this cruise.  For my Dad, this is partly a gift from Oana and me for his 60th.  For us, it’s a celebration of Oana taking my name and going no contact with almost her entire family.  There’s a story to tell there, but it’s not mine to tell fully.  People don’t cut their family off for no reason, and this is something that has helped Oana immensely.  It just so happened that the cruise dates matched up with the one year anniversary of her name change becoming official.  

Anyway, for the special occasion they decorated our cabin with balloons and a nice card, as well as a $50 voucher to the spa.  Considering that A) we have no interest in the spa, and B) the cheapest thing in the spa is a short massage coming in at $350(ish) we were never going to use it.  We thanked them for the gift and asked if we could exchange it for a voucher for a restaurant or something.  They said that wasn’t possible but that they’d try and come up with something else.  A few days later we returned to our cabin to find it covered with flower petals, with a few little goodies waiting for us.  We were very happy and impressed.  

Tromso

I’m now writing this bit shortly after we set off from Tromso.  We arrived here at just after 9am, and we had booked tickets for the shuttlebus into the city, as the dock is 4km out.  The last time we were in Tromso, Oana and I stumbled across a great cafe and bar called Helmersons.  When we realised we would be back in Tromso we made sure to reserve a table for brunch.  

Brunch was amazing.  We were worried it would not live up to the hype and that my Dad would be disappointed.  Well, for once we found somewhere that not only lived up to the hype but surpassed it.  Our meal was superb, and each of us left extremely happy.  The meal might sound a little strange, but it just works.  The “large plate breakfast” includes some slices of fresh bread, a soft boiled egg, some manchego-type cheese, a few slices of ham, fresh yoghurt and granola, some jam, and flakes of salt. It just works.  The yoghurt and granola is my favourite part of the dish.  

After brunch we walked along the bridge in Tromso to get to the Arctic Church.  The bridge is just over 1km long, and at its tallest point is 38m above the water.  We had a look around the outside of the church and then made our way back across the bridge.  As it was Sunday there was not much else happening in the city so we caught the shuttlebus back to the ship for a quick freshen up.  Then we walked over to the Botanical Gardens.  The ones in Tromso are small, and simple, but calming and peaceful, and very well designed.  It’s the sort of place you can just relax in, and everyone seems to just slow down.  

The Water

There’s something that seems to be innate in most people, and that’s a yearning to be near the water.  It can be calming, peaceful, and a giver of life, but on the flip side it can be terrifying and destructive.  It is vast and mysterious, and much of it remains hidden to us with the difficulties of exploring the depths being greater than exploring space in many ways.  

Being at sea brings about a sense of peace and freedom.  There’s something about waking up in a different place each day.  This world is so huge that I often feel impatient to get out there and see more.  This is where FI becomes key.  Everything I’m working towards is directed to an end point which isn’t wealth for wealth’s sake, but rather the freedom that wealth can purchase.  Every penny directed to FI is another penny that is buying my freedom; my freedom to travel and experience what this world has to offer.  It’s impossible to look at these mountains, forests, and fjords and not feel an almost ancient call to return to a simpler life.  The possible future of living in a house on the side of a fjord, waking up each day looking out over calm waters sounds much more appealing than living in a busy city with lots of stuff.  The older I get, the more I yearn for peace.

Financial Update

With the difficulties of typing this up on an iPhone I hope you will forgive me for not having the usual format.  I was able to gather together information for my assets as follows:

Premium Bonds: £19,000.00

ISA: £113,006.69

Pensions: £95,306.27

Once we finish up this holiday it will be back to drawing board for Oana with her job search.  I’ll need to get my head down and start pushing forward in my job, as I’m still fairly new and this is the first break I’ll have had.  Once we have two incomes coming in we can really start motoring forward.

Why FI Demands More Than Frugality

There’s a common misconception I come across both in my work and through my blog: the idea that if you just budget well enough, financial independence will somehow take care of itself.

Let me be clear: budgeting is important. It’s the foundation. But it’s not the full structure. You don’t budget your way to financial independence, you invest your way there.

Budgeting Is Defensive. Investing Is Offensive.

I’ve known so many people who claim to be great with money, yet have no investments despite respectable salaries. If you are spending more than you are earning, it doesn’t matter how much you are earning. You need the income figure to be bigger than the outgoing figure.

“Ok, I’ve done that. Now what?”

That’s brilliant, and it’s a crucial step. You can’t build wealth if you’re haemorrhaging cash on takeaways, subscriptions you’ve forgotten about, or impulse purchases. Budgeting gives you control. But it doesn’t give you growth.

Budgeting is the financial equivalent of eating healthy in that it stops things from getting worse. But if you want to get stronger, fitter, faster? You’ve got to train. You’ve got to move. You’ve got to build. That’s what investing does.

You’re Not Saving – You’re Losing (Thanks, Inflation)

Let’s say you’ve done the hard part. You’ve got a solid budget. You’re regularly putting aside £500 a month. Over 10 years, that’s £60,000.

But what does £60,000 actually buy in 10 years?

If inflation runs at an average of 3% per year, not unrealistic, your money’s buying power shrinks considerably. £60,000 in today’s money might only be worth £44,000 in real terms by the time you need it.

That’s not wealth building. That’s treading water with a slow leak in the lifeboat.

This is something I struggled with earlier in my own FIRE journey. I was saving well, budgeting hard, but I wasn’t really building anything. It took time and a lot of reading, trial and error, and mindset shifts to get comfortable with investing. Especially as someone who likes control, the idea of volatility felt like a threat, not an opportunity.

Investing Is the Engine That Drives FIRE

If you’re serious about FIRE, you need your money to work as hard as you do.

Let’s go back to that £500 a month example. If you invest that money and achieve an average return of 7% (which is around the long-term average for global stock markets), after 10 years you wouldn’t have £60,000. You’d have closer to £86,000. Over 20 years? Around £260,000.

That’s the magic of compounding. It’s not magic at all, actually. It’s maths but it feels magical when it works in your favour.

And here’s the thing: you don’t have to be Warren Buffett. You don’t need to pick winning stocks or time the market. In fact, you probably shouldn’t. A simple, diversified, low-cost index fund strategy, something like a global tracker in a stocks and shares ISA, is more than enough for most people.

I’ve talked about this on my blog before: the paradox of investing is that doing less often achieves more. The hard part isn’t technical. It’s emotional. It’s about consistency. Staying invested. Riding out the bumps. Trusting the long-term picture.

Why Don’t More People Invest?

There are two big blockers I’ve seen:

1. Fear: The market feels intimidating. It fluctuates. Headlines scream about crashes. But short-term dips are the price of admission for long-term growth. I’ve had years where my portfolio dropped five figures. I didn’t sell. And I’m still here, closer to FIRE than ever.

2. Mindset: Many people still see investing as something “other people” do. Rich people. Experts. Not ordinary savers. But investing isn’t exclusive. It’s not a secret club. You can start with £25 a month. You don’t need to be perfect, you just need to begin.

For those of us who are neurodivergent, like myself, investing can feel particularly risky. The loss of control, the uncertainty, it’s uncomfortable. But FIRE is as much about psychological resilience as it is about maths. Building systems that work for you like auto-investing, staying informed but not reactive, can make it manageable, even empowering.

Budgeting Keeps the Lights On. Investing Gets You Out of the Rat Race.

If you’re budgeting, great. Keep doing that. It’s the foundation for everything.

But if you’re not investing; if you’re just letting your cash pile up in a savings account earning 4% while inflation quietly eats it, you’re missing the crucial step.

FIRE isn’t just about cutting back. It’s about building up. Building a portfolio, building passive income, building freedom.

Because ultimately, financial independence isn’t about being “good with money.” It’s about letting your money be good for you.

Blog

Hello and welcome back to Mortgage Advisor on FIRE.  A different type of post this time, as I’ve written this in chunks over several days. Some of it was on the North Sea, and some in the port of Skjolden, Norway.

I apologise in advance for any typos because I’m using my phone for this, rather than my Mac.

The Journey Starts….

Our preparation for this cruise started on Thursday as we got ready to take Pops to the cattery, which always makes us sad.  We’ve said that this will be the last trip we take where she has to stay somewhere overnight.  Pops is not getting any younger, and in the last couple of years she has become increasingly stressed each time we’ve had to take her anywhere, like the vet or cattery.

The cattery we have chosen is not our usual one, which is now closed.  Last time we left Pops there, she was not herself for several days after coming back.  It more or less destroyed our trust in that place. 

Once we had Poppy dropped off we headed home to do the last few bits of packing before our cruise.  The last couple of times we’ve gone for a cruise, we’ve departed from Southampton and travelled down the day before.  The numbers worked out better when it was just Oana and I travelling.  This time we were going with my Dad, and because it was now three of us it made more financial sense to get a cab instead.  

It was a smooth journey down to Southampton and our driver was friendly, and didn’t try to engage us in conversation which was what we all wanted.  I don’t like small talk at the best of times, and 4-5 hours of it would have stressed me.  We stopped at some services and I bought him a coffee, and then we continued on. 

Southampton is not the most interesting of places.  There’s a few nice old buildings, and a decent mall.  That’s about it.  This is another reason why travelling down on the day made sense. If you had an hour to see all the interesting parts of Southampton, you’d have 55 minutes left to fill with something else.

Checking in for a cruise is so much more chill than the process of boarding a plane.  Your luggage is collected outside the terminal and you go to a desk to have your passport checked.  Security is very efficient in Southampton, and within fifteen minutes of having our luggage taken from us, we were in line waiting to board the ship.

SKY PRINCESS

We sailed on Sky Princess in 2023 and although we enjoyed the trip as a whole, the on board experience was not great.  The food was awful and some of the staff were rude.  The only reason we booked again was because it was the only ship sailing on the route we wanted; Norway, at the time we wanted.  

I have to say that the difference between then and now is incredible.  The food is great.  We are a few days into the trip and have not had a bad meal.  There was a roast beef meal that was fantastic.  The meat had been seasoned and cooked with care, and you could cut through it with a spoon if you wanted to.  

The first day of the cruise saw us depart Southampton late in the afternoon, with the second day being entirely at sea.  There’s lots to do on the ship with a range of shops, restaurants and bars, and plenty of quiet areas to chill out.  There’s also a running track on the top deck with is roughly 380 steps long.  When I need to get some steps in to help bring my blood sugar come down, I go up there and put my headphones on.

On the first night we were treated to a spectacular thunderstorm.  The sky was lit up from horizon to horizon with huge forks of lightning.  It was great to watch, and seeing the flashes light up the sea so we could briefly see other ships was like something from a horror or thriller.  

Our first port was Edinburgh and we had booked to see the castle with an entry window from 11:00 to 11:30.  We arrived at South Queensferry in the early hours of the morning and our only major complaint of the cruise so far was on this issue.  There was almost no communication from the ship about the arrangements for disembarking and making our way to Edinburgh.  We had a letter dropped on us last thing the night before explaining that there was a selection of buses and taxis that would take us to Edinburgh, with a journey time of approximately 30-40 minutes.  Ok, that’s not so bad.  The real kicker was the arrangements for leaving the ship.

We were ready to leave the ship a little after 8am.  We headed down to deck 4 where the shuttles were ferrying people to and from the ship.  The three of us, and many others were asked what our group number was and we all had blank faces.  We were told to go back to deck 7 to get our group number.  Up to deck 7 we went and were given the group number 42.  They were currently taking group 24.  

This is one of those situations where, if it was just the three of us who had made this mistake, we’d take it on the chin and acknowledge we fucked up.  However, there were many, many people as confused as we were.  Once we had our group numbers we sat at a cafe of deck 5 and chilled out.  It was now 8:30am and several people walking by stopped to ask where we got our group number cards from.  We heard other guests complaining about the lack of information and organisation.  It clearly wasn’t just us.  

At approximately 9:50am our group was called and we made our way back to deck 4 and boarded the shuttle.  By the time we got underway and made it to shore, it was a little after 10:10, and then we had to get on a bus.  There were crowds everywhere and we all found it stressful.  It was just after 11am by the time we arrived in Edinburgh, and 11:34 by the time we got to the castle, just four minutes after our entry window closed.  Luckily, we were allowed entry.

The castle was, surprisingly, underwhelming.  I think we all felt tired and stressed after the morning we’d had, and we felt like the day had gotten away from us.  We went to a local cafe that had great reviews, Deacons House, and sat in the inner courtyard.  It’s named after Deacon William Brodie who was a councillor and cabinet maker by day, but by night he was a burglar.  In the 18th Century he led a life of luxury funded by his nighttime activities, and his life was the inspiration for the story of Jekyll and Hyde.

The cafe was great.  The staff were friendly and the surroundings were interesting.  Oana ordered a hot chocolate and a fruit scone with jam.  My Dad ordered a latte and a chocolate, pistachio, and orange slide.  I went for overnight oats with a latte.  We all really enjoyed what we had.  My oats were amazing, served with roasted almonds, almond butter, fresh raspberries, and chia seeds.  Oana’s scone was massive, and very well made.  My Dad said his cake was tasty and not the slightest bit dry.  All good, and it came to less than £30.

We had a little wander around Edinburgh, visiting Greyfriars Kirkyard, before searching out a Starbucks to add more mugs to our collection.  On the way I glanced up some steps hidden between two walls and saw a young woman crying.  I told Oana and we decided it was best if she approached her as, with me being a dude I didn’t want to intimidate her.  Oana went back and had a chat.  It turns out she had spent her first night on the streets and was starving.  Oana asked what she wanted, and we went and got her a sandwich, drink, and some snacks.  It’s not much, but there wasn’t realistically anything more we could do.

We picked up our mugs, and whilst waiting for them to be packaged some American guy made me want to burst out laughing when he ordered a “venti, quad, iced, vanilla, soy milk latte.”  I half expected the barista to reply, “we don’t serve cocktails here.”

On the subject of Americans, there are many good people in that young nation.  I have many American friends who are intelligent, considerate, thoughtful people; completely unlike many of the ones I’ve encountered on this cruise.

One fellow traveller asked a confused crew member, “Where are the biscuits at?”  A female American loudly asked another confused crew member about the location of “the noodles!”, only to be directed to the Asian food station.

There are certain words and turns of phrase that can spike my blood pressure from one second to the next, and referring to any and all pasta as noodles is near the top of the list.  

On our way back from Edinburgh we waited in a lengthy queue to board the shuttle and once boarding was complete we found ourselves squished in between some off duty crew and an older American couple.  The three crew members were two Indian men, and a young woman who we learned was from Zambia.  The American woman, from Virginia (How do you know where an American is from? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you).

The American woman kept asking them where they were from, but no answer seemed to satisfy her.  It was impossible to ignore the conversation because the woman was sat next to me and the crew directly across from me.  It was pure cringe though.  I felt bad for the crew as they clearly just wanted to enjoy their day off work.  Having spoken with other crew members briefly, I know they don’t get much free time.  The bit where I had to turn away was when she was trying to ascertain whether this clearly Indian man was not, in fact, Jamaican.  No, I’m not joking.

Our second port was Skjolden where we spent the morning with llamas from a nearby farm.  We were greeted by a British man who moved to Norway in 2002.  He now farms sheep and llamas, and it seems like a nice life.  Between Oana, my Dad, and myself, we were given control of two llamas; Kevin, and Leif.

My Dad was entrusted with Kevin and I was assigned Leif.  You remember that scene in The Two Towers where Aragorn calms the horse, Brego? Well, my efforts with Leif were nothing like that.  We had a slightly rocky start where he just stared at me and refused to do anything.  So, I spoke with him and let him get used to me.  Then, I started walking away with my back to him, and he started walking after me.  I realised that these llamas didn’t like to be pulled, but they did like to follow.  

We settled into a nice pace as we walked through the fields and down to the side of the fjord, before following the water towards a pasture where the llamas like to graze.  I got a few pics and videos of us spending time together, and he definitely had a personality of his own.  

My Dad had a similar experience with Kevin, and they happily marched off towards the front of the pack.  Oana would have liked to walk the llamas as well, but her umbrella made them a bit uneasy, and it was raining fairly steadily.  The time came to hand our llamas over to a new handler, as we took charge of our new partners.  I took Toby and my Dad took Pernille.  Old Toby was the finest llama in the South Farthing (LOTR reference).  He was a little nervous but I approached him slowly and held my hand out so he could clearly see it.  I slowly moved my hand to his fur and started to stroke him and he became much more at ease with me.  My Dad, on the other hand, was not having much joy with Pernille who steadfastly refused to do anything.  We swapped llamas and Pernille and I got on ok.  

Now gather round and sit beneath my learning tree as I explain the secrets of animal husbandry.  The secret, you see, is bribing them with food.  During the day the son of the farm owner dropped some food pellets in my hand to feed the llamas.  I had thought they’d be a little rough in taking the food, but they were gentle.  

Once we brought the llamas back to the farm, we unhooked them and said our goodbyes.  A little later as we were walking along the side of their enclosure, Leif spotted us and came bounding over to say a final goodbye.  If I could have stolen him I would have.

Skjolden is a nice little settlement with a population of approximately 200. It sits on the Sognefjord, which is the longest navigable fjord in the world, and the deepest in Norway. It is beautiful and surrounded on all sides by mountains which, whilst we were there, were shrouded in mist. It was like something from a fantasy story.

That’s all for now. We are back underway and heading to our next destination, Olden.

Hello everyone! I must apologise for not having the usual post up. I’ve been at sea for the last couple of days. Hoping to have something up in the next day or two.