Part 262: David and The Chocolate Factory

Hello and welcome back to Mortgage Advisor on FIRE.  This week I look back at the fallout from the recent budget.  Also, updates on my job search and a busy week.

Weekly Update

Oana and I celebrated our seventeenth anniversary this week, and no we are not married and have no intention of inviting the government and/or church into our relationship.  Some people believe in marriage, but we do not.  For some reason, though, there are people who get bent out of shape about the fact we haven’t made the “conventional” choices in our relationship, like deciding to not get married, have kids, own a car, and so on.  It’s just not for us.

I think we understand each other, and that our wants in life are different.  That’s why we work.  We have our ups and downs like any couple, but we always come back stronger and get ready to face our next adventure.  I’m sure we have many more ahead of us.  We’re a team, and we love each other, and we don’t need a sticking plaster.  I see the same mistakes made time and time again when a couple are struggling and they decide to get married because that will, in their mind, fix the relationship.  It does, for a while, but when problems arise again the next “fix” is to have kids.  Eventually, the tipping point is achieved and the relationship ends explosively.

Anyway, getting back to my original point; Happy Anniversary to Oana and I; my best friend and partner on life’s journey.  Te iubesc x.

Tell me you did not just say that…

Certain phrases in life bring about a physical sense of discomfort, like when people refer to something as “lush” and they’re not talking about rolling green hills or a vibrant orchard.  Another example would be when people argued that Boris was “trying his best.”  One that winds me up is when Americans (citizens of the United States of America, a young nation between Canada and Mexico) refer to any pasta as “noodles”.

Does rigatoni look like a noodle? What about conchiglie? Farfalle?

None of these, annoying as they are, hold a candle to a phrase that was printed on the wall of a small gym near our apartment.  

Drum roll…..

“Achieve your limits.”

What in the goddamm deep double-fried fuck does “achieve your limits” mean?

In a vaguely related bit of news, I was at the hospital this week for an appointment with a consultant about my elbow which has been causing pain since the summer of 2022.  This all started when we were refurbing our apartment, and I was doing lots of DIY and keeping up with regular gym visits.  I think I just overworked the elbow joint and it’s never recovered.

I’ve had scans, physio, lots of rest, and it’s not improved.  I’m now seeing a specialist in sport and exercise medicine who, I hope, can help me get back to some form of exercise.  

Russia fines Google more than the whole world’s GDP

Some headlines just sound like the set-up to a joke, and this is definitely an example.  I struggle to see a point to this because it’s not like Google will pay the fine, and all this has done is give people another reason to point at Russia and laugh.  This fine is the result of Google blocking content on YouTube from Russian sources relating to the war in Ukraine.

I’m not sure what the end game is for Putin but I can’t see a way for Russia back into the international community whilst he holds on to power.  There’s no way for Russia to “win” here.  Their actions in Ukraine, and numerous other incidents, have isolated them from civilised society.  They can’t conquer Ukraine and occupy it.  This sort of thing doesn’t work in a modern, digital, society.  War has changed.  It’s no longer primarily about territory.  What good are buffer zones when you can launch a missile from anywhere on Earth to any other point on the planet?

I had this conversation earlier this week and I was asked how I think Putin remains in power and why people support him.  I think it boils down to money, like most things do.  Putin remains in power because it still benefits his supporters.  They help keep him in power, and he rewards them.  It’s the same story throughout human history.  

Does the war suit the west?

The cynic in me wonders whether the Western powers are happy to let Russia bleed itself dry against Ukraine.  Russia keeps throwing soldiers and money at the conflict and doesn’t seem to be getting much for it.  The whole war just seems utterly pointless, as most wars are.

Anyway, I’m sure you want to know how much the fine was for.  Here goes…

$20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.

If I was the US President I’d have the treasury print a single bill for that amount and then ship it to the Kremlin with a compliment slip attached.

David and The Chocolate Factory

There is a craft chocolate company in Kelham Island that has been expanding in recent years.  They now have a cafe in the city centre which sells these incredible chocolate brownies topped with cornflakes.  We recently found out they offer tours of their factory, and Oana and I booked for one on Saturday.  It ended up being less of a tour, as the factory is very small, and more of a lecture but it was still good fun.

We were worried we’d be the only ones there but five pairs of visitors turned up.  We sat on stools in the food prep area whilst the cocoa beans were being ground into a paste in four metal drums.  Note; one thing we learned was the difference between cacao and cocoa.  The former refers to the bean before it’s roasted and the second refers to it after roasting.  

It was explained that moisture is the enemy of chocolate and when they are preparing the beans they have to make sure it’s as dry as possible, and when they add milk to the mixture it’s only powdered milk.  We had some samples of the different varieties of chocolate they produce and it was just a nice, chilled event where we learned some cool stuff.  

The thing is, although Oana and I love their brownies, we don’t like the chocolate bars they produce.  The chocolate is very rich and very intense.  I can see why some people would enjoy it, and I would happily have the odd piece here and there, but I wouldn’t pay the £6-£8 for a 50g-60g bar that is charged.  

Fireworks

Have you ever thought “I can’t wait to hear those fireworks.”?

I doubt anyone has ever thought this as the spectacle of fireworks comes from how they look, not how they sound.  In an age where we can make silent fireworks, I don’t understand why they are not the norm.  The noise scares animals and is annoying, and recent polls have suggested that most people favour silent fireworks.  

There’s an annual event in Sheffield at the Botanical Gardens called Illuminate the Gardens which has street food vendors, music, and a fireworks display.  Oana and I have attended a couple of times but the fireworks always make us feel uneasy because we know how it scares the wildlife and household pets.  We’ve opted out of attending recently because of this, and this year we thought about going but decided to reach out to the organisers to ask about silent fireworks.  Their response was frustrating.

The long and short of it is they don’t see a problem with traditional fireworks because the event always sells out.  Due to this, they argued that those wanting silent fireworks are in the minority.  Bullshit.  Over 550,000 people are living in Sheffield.  This event typically sells around 10,000 tickets.  The “link” between the event selling out and the general opinion on silent fireworks only exists in the minds of the organisers.  It’s impossible to say one way or the other.

When you have options, choose the one that causes the least harm.

If I summarise my argument as simply as possible, it’s like this: there are two types of fireworks.  One creates stress and panic for wildlife and those with sensory issues, veterans and/or refugees of conflict with PTSD.  The other type doesn’t.  Removing the sound of explosions from the experience has minimal impact on the enjoyment but creates a better experience for those vulnerable sections of society and the creatures we share this planet with.

Poppy

We had to go to Ikea a couple of times this week for one or two things we needed, and we came out with lots of things we didn’t realise we needed until we saw them on display.  A typical Ikea visit.  We have multiple Kallax units in our flat, and I saw a new type of insert which is a box with a porthole on the front.  The first thing I thought was that Poppy would love it.  So we picked one up, and Oana put a cushion in there and a blanket.  Sure enough, Poppy loves it and has taken to staying in there in the evenings.  She looks absolutely adorable.

Movember

I’ve started a new walking challenge, this time for the Movember Foundation.  For those who don’t know about Movember, it’s a charity that primarily raises awareness for male mental health, suicide prevention, and male-related cancers such as prostate and testicular.  A few years ago I raised a few hundred pounds for them when I completed a virtual bike ride from Land’s End to John o’ Groats on a bike at the gym.  It was hard work but very satisfying.  

This time I’m aiming for 500,000 steps in November.  If you would like to follow my progress or donate, you can do so here:

https://movember.com/m/13607662?mc=1

Letters to Oana

Part 2 of the series Letters to Oana is now live.

Looking Back (new post)

Part 17 of the Looking Back series is also live.

What I’m Doing

Listening: The Stone Man: Stone Man Book 1 by Luke Smitherd

Watching: Fool Me Once (Netflix).

The Stone Man series is mostly brilliant with just a few concerns about how autism is handled.  The protagonist describes himself as having Asperger’s, and the terms “mild autism” and “severe autism” are used by characters.  I’m not sure if this is supposed to highlight the opinions of the characters or if it’s a sign of the author’s views.  Either way, as an autistic guy it’s uncomfortable having these terms in a work of fiction you otherwise really enjoy.

Anyway, as the latest book has just come out I’ve decided to go back and revisit the previous books before starting the new one.  The story starts with a large Stone Man appearing in the centre of Coventry.  No one knows how it appeared or what it is.  Then, it starts to move.  Much of the first book takes place in, and around, Sheffield which is cool to see in this type of work. 

I highly recommend this series and it seems I’m not alone.  The first book was an Amazon and Audible number-one bestseller and was shortlisted for Book of the Year in 2015.  If you like sci-fi with a bit of horror thrown in, you’ll enjoy it.  

Another thing I find refreshing in this is that it depicts a male friendship that is not built on machismo or toxic masculinity.  Mike Gayle, another author I like, is pretty good at writing these relationships as well.  

Fool Me Once, shame on you…

Fool Me Once is another Netflix adaptation of a Harlan Coben book.  I’ve read a few books by Coben and they’re entertaining enough but not particularly memorable.  Richard Armitage is linked with these Netflix adaptations, and I seem to remember when I attended a talk with him last year he mentioned he’d signed a multiyear deal to produce and star in some of these shows.  However, to say he “stars” in this show would be a bit of a stretch as he’s hardly in it. 

There is a trope in storytelling known as the Idiot Trope, which refers to when the plot only progresses because the characters act like idiots, and it’s closely related to the trope Failure to Communicate.  You’ll have seen this several times in films and shows where you’re screaming at the TV, “just tell them!”  The whole plot would be wrapped up in minutes if people just behaved like, well, people.

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Financial Update

Assets

Premium Bonds: £15,100.00.

Stocks and Shares ISA: £89,147.51.

Fuck It Fund: £1,234.94.

Pensions: £86,309.78.

Residential Property Value: £237,447.00. 

Total Assets: £429,239.23.

Debts

Residential Mortgage: £185,094.90. 

Total Debts: £185,094.90.

Total Wealth: £244,144.33.

My ISA has taken a real hammering in the last couple of weeks.  Since Week 260 my ISA has dropped over £6k.  It’s never nice seeing that sort of drop but it’s just an emotional reaction.  The reality is that any drop or increase from week to week doesn’t mean that much in the grand scheme of things.  Over the long term, the value will steadily increase, and it’s important to not get swept up in panic.  

I was asked this week if I’ve ever been tempted to sell as the market drops and the honest answer is not a single time.  When you’re investing regularly you want to buy as many units as possible, and the occasional drop in prices is like a sale on those units.

The Budget

For all the nerves and worry the budget ended up being a bit of a non-event for me.  ISA allowances were not reduced and have been frozen for the next few years.  There was also no cap on the overall balance of an ISA account.  

A few people have expressed confusion about different messages they’ve been getting in the media about whether taxes have increased or not.  The answer is yes.  Let me explain…

Income Tax

Income tax bandings were frozen by the Tories which means the amount of money we can earn before being taxed will remain the same.  Labour are continuing with this policy.  The rate of income tax has not been changed either, so it can be argued from one perspective that we are not paying more tax. 

However, it’s also accurate to say we will be paying more tax with the bands and thresholds being kept the same.  It’s best to explain with an example…

If you are a basic rate taxpayer with a tax code of 1257, it means the first £12,570 of earned income is free of tax; this is your personal allowance.  If you have a salary of £25,000, you are only being taxed on the amount above your personal allowance.  In this example, you are paying tax on £25,000 – £12,570 = £12,430.  The basic rate of income tax is 20%, meaning you would be liable for £2,486 of income tax.

Fast forward to the end of your financial year, and you find out you are getting a pay increase to £28,000.  You have the same personal allowance meaning £15,430 is now subject to income tax, and your tax liability would be £3,086.

In short, the rate of tax doesn’t change, but you pay more tax because more of your earnings are subject to tax.  Labour will begin reviewing personal allowances and the tax bandings in a few years, but for now, every pay increase you get means more of your income may be subject to tax.

Job Search

I’ve had a few chats with recruiters this week but I keep running into the same issue.  Most positions I’m seeing advertised are for mortgage brokers who have experience working across the whole of the market.  As an advisor working for a bank, I worked only for that bank.  I know many people who have worked as an independent broker, and the fact I’ve not done that before shouldn’t be a major issue, yet here we are.

My original plan was to take some time off, but Oana’s job ending unexpectedly has thrown a wrench in that.  It’s not that big of a deal, as I can have time off later, and as the saying goes, “a change is as good as a rest.”  I just need to find something that isn’t going to suck completely.

Change of career…

I’m open to a career change but it doesn’t make sense to invest a lot of time, energy, and money into formal training or qualifications as I’ll only need a job for a few years at most.  So I need something which will be open to me with the skills I can transfer from being a mortgage and protection advisor. Any suggestions would be welcome!

I don’t even need to earn as much as I was earning in mortgages.  I’ve done the heavy lifting with my FI plan, and even if I just coast from now, I’ll still get to a decent FIRE number in 10-15 years.

One thing that infuriates me on sites like Indeed and Reed is where a job is filtered as remote working, and when you read through the description it says it’s an office-based role.  So far I would estimate at least half the roles that come up on a “working from home” search actually require in-person attendance at an office.  

I have an interview for a job on Tuesday which should be interesting.  On my application, when I was asked about my salary expectation, I put down a figure 25% higher than the advertised salary.  The fact they’ve called me in for an interview means one of several things…

The first possibility is they’ve not paid attention to the figure I put down.  The second is that they are happy to offer a higher salary for the right person.  The third is that they think they can just disregard the preference and offer whatever.

That’s all for this week.  Thank you for reading, and I hope you have a great week ahead.

Disclaimer

The views and opinions in this blog are my own, and do not represent the views or opinions of my employer, nor should they be considered advice.  

If you want personalised financial advice, seek an appropriate professional.  If you are in financial difficulty, seek advice via the resources below:

StepChange

MoneyHelper

Biolink 

You can now find all my social media pages by checking out my Biolink:

bio.link/davidscothern.