Hello and welcome back to Mortgage Advisor on FIRE. This week, I discuss crypto and explain why I think it’s a load of rubbish. Also, thoughts on an idea I’ve wanted to discuss for a while: Competence Porn.
Weekly Update
I feel like I’ve not had a spare second this week. My days have been taken up with work, then walking, then sleep. My Diabetes UK Step Challenge is in full swing, and I’m trying to make up for the lack of steps I completed at the start of the month when I had Covid.
The goal is to hit 1,700,000 steps between July 1st and September 30th. This works out at just under 18,500 steps each day. However, because of the slow start, my current daily target stands at 19,245 steps. I’m hoping to smash through the steps at the front end to get back ahead of the game. I want to be in a position where, should something crop up, missing a day or two isn’t a big problem.
Getting the steps in is a challenge when you work at a desk for nine hours a day, Monday to Friday. I have a treadmill at home which I use on breaks and lunch, and in the evening I’ll either go for a walk with Oana or go on the treadmill whilst we watch something or as I listen to a book or podcast. I’ve learned that my treadmill times out at 99 minutes and 59 seconds and automatically shuts down. To hit the daily target, I generally need to be walking for three hours a day.
If you want to keep up to date with my progress, or even donate, you can do so here:
https://step.diabetes.org.uk/fundraising/davids-fundraising-page1055
On Friday evening, Oana and I went for a nice, long walk around the city. We left our apartment just after 22:00 and returned after midnight. The temperature was finally comfortable, and with the city being quiet, it was a relaxing time. I didn’t hit my step target for the day, but I more than made up for it on Saturday.
Oana went for a bike ride, and I did a little walking around the area. Then, after lunch, we walked along the canal to Meadowhall. By this point, I’d done over 20,000 steps, but we still had more to do. We jumped on a tram back to Kelham Island to complete our volunteering duties. On one of the bridges into Kelham Island, there’s a series of large planters which were installed during Covid. There’s a group of volunteers who work on a rota to make sure the plants are all watered. This is done by lowering a bucket from the bridge into the water, before pulling it up and using that water to fill the watering can.
Last time we did this, it was early morning on a weekday, and so we didn’t have many watchers. This time, it was early evening on a Saturday, and all the bars near the bridge were open with groups of people scattered around having drinks. So, we had an audience. Plenty of people stopped to check out what we were doing and had nice things to say. Some people were curious and seemed to think it was funny, for some unknown reason. At one point, two young women who were a little tipsy stopped me as I was pulling up the metal bucket and lifting it over the barrier.
Woman: What’s that? *pointing at the bucket*
Me: It’s a bucket.
Ok, maybe she was a little more than tipsy.
Anyway, it’s a nice thing to do and was a decent workout lifting large buckets of water from the river several meters below. As Saturday drew to a close, I had completed over 22,500 steps.
Competence Porn: The Deeply Satisfying Allure of Watching Experts at Work
There’s a particular kind of story I keep coming back to. It’s not driven by spectacle, or even emotion, though those elements might be present. At its heart, it’s about people doing their jobs really well. Stories where characters face a problem, often a seemingly impossible one, and solve it not through luck or brute force, but through skill, intelligence, and calm determination. Maybe I’m enjoying this type of story more now because, well, *gestures at everyone in power fucking things up*
It’s not an official genre, but it has a name: competence porn.
The term is slightly tongue-in-cheek, of course. It doesn’t refer to anything graphic in the usual sense, and there’s no nudity or scandal here. The “porn” part is shorthand for indulgence. Just as “food porn” is about luxuriating in mouthwatering visuals of perfectly plated meals, competence porn is about revelling in scenes where talented people get things done. It scratches a very specific itch: the thrill of mastery.
This is storytelling that says, “Don’t worry, we’ve got this.” And there’s something deeply comforting about that.
Why Do We Crave Competence?
In a world that often feels chaotic, unpredictable, and frustratingly inefficient, competence porn is a balm. It offers a fantasy, not of power, not of perfection, but of capability. These stories aren’t about superheroes or fate. They’re about knowledge, experience, teamwork, and the kind of thinking that cuts through panic.
Watching competent characters at work is oddly calming, especially after watching another bewildering Trump rant. It reminds us that problems can be solved, and that there are people out there who know what they’re doing. Whether it’s saving lives, fixing spacecraft, or solving a mystery, the pleasure is in the process as much as the outcome.
And it’s not just about individual genius. Some of the most satisfying examples are ensemble stories, where each member of the team brings a specific skill to the table. Think of it like a well-rehearsed jazz band where each soloist is brilliant in their own right, but made even better by the way they harmonise.
I think part of this attraction is because many jobs are so restrictive in what you can and can’t do. The ability to showcase individual ability and expertise is often pushed down, and company policy takes over. In a sense, watching competence is escapism from daily life and the utter stupidity we seem to be fighting against.
The Starship Bridge and the Medical Drama
One of the clearest examples of competence porn is found in Star Trek: The Next Generation. Captain Picard doesn’t solve crises by punching anyone in the face; that’s the realm of Benjamin Muthafuckin’ Sisko. Instead, he listens to his officers, weighs the ethical implications, and makes careful decisions. When a problem arises, be it an alien threat, a spatial anomaly, or a diplomatic incident, each member of the crew contributes their expertise. Worf handles security, but gets beaten up a lot. Data analyses. Troi interprets emotions. Blazin’ Bev offers the medical perspective. It’s like watching a high-functioning committee where every voice matters, except Worf (see the compilation of all the times his suggestions are ignored).
It’s not about perfection. It’s about function.
The same appeal runs through House, M.D., though in a more abrasive flavour. Dr. House is often unpleasant, even cruel. But he’s a diagnostic savant. The pleasure of watching House isn’t in seeing a warm and fuzzy doctor help people. It’s in watching someone drill down into an unsolvable case with raw, obsessive intellect. He’s not guessing; he’s working through layers of possibility, one hypothesis at a time. Even when he’s wrong (and he often is, at first), the path to the answer is always meticulous.
You’re not just watching a character, you’re watching a mind at work. These are the same sort of reasons why Sherlock was so popular; it follows the same sort of format of House, and it should be no surprise that House was inspired, to some degree, by the original Sherlock Holmes stories and the clues are hiding in plain sight; House and Holmes; Wilson and Watson.
When Science Saves the Day
Few films embody this better than The Martian. Mark Watney, left for dead on Mars, doesn’t give up. He doesn’t weep or pray or wait to be rescued. He gets to work. Armed with a potato, some Martian soil, and his own ingenuity, he sets about staying alive using pure scientific problem-solving. “I’m going to have to science the shit out of this,” he says, and we, the audience, settle in for the ride.
The stakes couldn’t be higher. One mistake means death. But that just makes his calm, methodical approach all the more satisfying. There are no miracles here. Just physics, chemistry, and a relentless refusal to quit. There aren’t many things I find more attractive, endearing, or inspiring than the indomitable will to succeed.
Andy Weir, who wrote The Martian, taps into something primal: the joy of watching someone figure it out. His follow-up novel, Project Hail Mary, takes that to an even grander scale. Once again, we follow a stranded man, this time in deep space, who must solve interstellar-level problems with little more than logic, maths, and duct tape. What makes these books so engaging isn’t the action, but the thinking. The sense that the universe can be understood, if only you try hard enough.
Competence in Alternate Histories
That same joy of mastery runs through Mary Robinette Kowal’s Lady Astronaut series. Beginning with The Calculating Stars, the books imagine an alternate 1950s where a climate catastrophe accelerates the space race. Elma York, a former WASP pilot and brilliant mathematician, becomes one of the world’s first astronauts not through luck or charm, but because she’s the best person for the job.
The series is filled with technical details regarding rocket mechanics, navigation, and atmospheric science, but also human nuance. Elma isn’t just smart; she’s part of a larger machine filled with experts, from engineers to psychologists. Watching them navigate not only the physics of spaceflight but the politics and prejudices of the time is both uplifting and deeply satisfying.
It’s competence porn with heart.
The Emotional Core of Competence
What makes these stories resonate isn’t just that the characters are good at what they do, it’s how they do it. They’re not infallible. They make mistakes. They struggle with doubt, frustration, and fear. But what sets them apart is their ability to focus. To tune out the noise, draw on their training, and trust their judgement.
And that, I think, is why competence porn matters.
In an age of misinformation, performative incompetence, and systems that often seem broken, it’s comforting, hopeful, even, to see characters who care about getting it right. Whether it’s diagnosing a rare disease, rerouting a starship, or landing a rocket, these stories remind us that skill still matters. That intelligence, collaboration, and dedication are not only admirable, they’re vital.
They remind us of what’s possible when people do their jobs, not just with talent, but with integrity.
Do you have a go-to show or book that scratches the competence itch? Something that makes you want to sit up straighter, take notes, or dive back into learning something new? I’d love to hear about it, so please let me know.
We could all use a little more brilliance in our lives.
This Blog
I get fairly regular feedback from readers, both public and private, and I wanted to throw this question out there. I’m assuming most people read this blog primarily because of the FI journey I’m on, but that is only part of this blog. I regularly discuss politics, science, pop culture, customer service, and more. So, what do you enjoy the most in this blog?
What I’m Doing
Listening: The Martian Contingency by Mary Robinette Kowal.
Watching: Nothing at the moment.
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DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearlyFinancial Update
Assets
Premium Bonds: £19,000.00.
Stocks and Shares ISA: £115,274.88.
Fuck It Fund: £500.29.
Pensions: £98,098.61.
Residential Property Value: £239,368.00.
Total Assets: £472,241.78.
Debts
Residential Mortgage: £177,949.31.
Total Debts: £177,949.31.
Total Wealth: £294,292.47.
I’m so close to several milestones now and I’m impatient to finally reach them. I’m just a few thousand short of hitting £300k total wealth for the first time, and less than £2k from hitting £100k in my pensions.
These milestones are purely emotional, as there’s not much practical difference between having £299,999 total wealth and £300,000. We measure our progress through these milestones, though, and it’s a nice boost when FI seems a little while off.
Crypto Is Bullshit
What do a vegan, a CrossFitter, and a crypto bro have in common?
They all walk into a bar… and argue over which one gets to lecture you first. The crypto bro tries to explain Web3 before you’ve even ordered a pint. The vegan’s holding tofu and shouting “meat is murder”. The CrossFitter’s already done three burpees. But only one of them wants you to buy a digital coin he made in his garage last Tuesday. And he swears it’s going to the moon.
This is the level of absurdity we’ve reached.
Let’s cut through the hype: crypto is, at its core, a giant confidence scam dressed up in tech jargon and libertarian daydreams. We’ve been sold the idea that it’s revolutionary, decentralised freedom from the shackles of the corrupt traditional financial system. In reality, it’s just another speculative asset class that lives and dies on public perception. It’s this century’s Greater Fool asset of choice.
It’s Just Money, But Worse
One of the most glaring ironies of the crypto world is that you need traditional fiat currency to buy into it in the first place. Nobody is paying for their rent, groceries, or council tax in Ethereum. Instead, people exchange pounds, dollars, or euros, actual legal tender (oh, don’t we just love that phrase), for crypto in the hope that someone else will one day pay even more for it.
This exposes the central lie: crypto isn’t a replacement for fiat. It’s a derivative of it. Its value is entirely propped up by people’s willingness to convert real money into digital tokens. If people stop doing that, the whole thing collapses. It’s confidence all the way down.
Confidence is a Fragile Thing
Crypto evangelists often claim it’s “decentralised” and “trustless.” But that’s misleading. Crypto depends on confidence just like traditional currencies. The difference is that national currencies are backed by governments, central banks, and (whether you like it or not) regulation. If the pound starts to wobble, the Bank of England intervenes. There’s a framework.
Crypto has no such safety net. When confidence in a coin dies whether through a rug pull, an exchange collapse, or a tweet from Elon Musk, or some version of a Pump and Dump, it vanishes into the digital ether. And when it does, there’s no one to call, no ombudsman to appeal to, no compensation scheme. Just a lot of people wondering where their “decentralised wealth” went.
But Isn’t the Tech Interesting?
Yes, let’s be fair, blockchain technology has some genuinely fascinating applications. Distributed ledgers, smart contracts, and tokenisation all hold promise in certain niches: supply chain verification, digital rights management, maybe even some clever uses in finance.
But here’s the thing: you can be interested in the tech without believing in the hype. You don’t need to buy a cartoon monkey JPEG or invest in Dogecoin to appreciate the underlying mechanisms of blockchain. Just like you don’t need to invest in every dot-com stock to acknowledge the internet’s potential.
The Cult of Belief
What really stinks about crypto is the way it preys on hope. It markets itself as financial liberation while functioning more like a zero-sum game. For someone to win big, someone else has to lose, and it’s usually retail investors who got in too late, too naively, or too broke to take the hit.
It’s not just flawed. It’s predatory. And it’s wrapped up in memes, FOMO, and half-baked promises of decentralisation. In the end, it’s not a revolution. It’s a con job built on buzzwords and blind faith.
So no, I’m not buying it. Not the coins, not the hype, and definitely not the narrative. Crypto, for all its digital glitter, is still just a confidence game. And that confidence can vanish with the next market crash, tweet, or bankruptcy filing.
DISCLAIMER
The views and opinions in this blog are my own, and do not represent the views or opinions of my former, current, or future employers, nor should they be considered advice.
If you want personalised financial advice, seek an appropriate professional. If you are in financial difficulty, seek advice via the resources below:
Biolink
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bio.link/davidscothern.
Fair enough on the crypto front, each to their own. But I think its a bit disingenuous saying that people advocating crypto have no argument, cue Wolf of Wall Street Fugazi meme. I’ve seen you comment on plenty of Facebook groups saying that crypto is rubbish, you then go on to offer no counter argument whilst the crypto advocates detail the underlying characteristics of money and how crypto is fundamentally stronger that fiat and gold (not even touching the adoption hype). I think you might have pinned your colours to the mast, have backed yourself into a corner, and now risk losing out by not even entertaining the idea of purchasing a small amount of crypto. Although your net worth graph seems to suggest that you have a small amount of crypto already? So at some point you must have been interested?
The greater fool theory applies to everything. Your comment on a FB group that “why would you just buy crypto if you just exchange it for cash” can be applied to literally every type of investment, regardless of risk. The BTL you sold recently? Greater fool. And on the confidence point, confidence has governed our modern fiat system since we temporarily (!) came off the Gold standard in 1971. Yes, there are scams in the crypto world, but my Bitcoin stored on a cold storage wallet has dodged all of them, the scams all exist off-chain (phishing emails, breaches of websites/online exchanges), such is the strength in security of the Blockchain on most major coins. Bitcoin itself has never been breached, and given the value of one coin there’s a hell of an incentive to successfully take it over! You seem to be advocating that we cede public concensus and hand that over to the Government, who obviously must know best given their great track records of printing money into oblivion and using it to start wars, both of which we’ve had plenty of examples in the 20th century, and especially since we came off the gold standard in 1971.
You are correct that crypto requires fiat to onboard, but again so does every other asset. I can’t buy a loaf of bread with a pile of bricks from my BTL? However, I would say that this hurdle has decreased substantially over the years, with countries like Venezuela and Zimbabwe now using crypto for everyday purchases. In the case of Venezuela crypto was a lifeboat when they went through hyperinflation. Bitcoin is now legal tender in El Salvador.
“Nobody is paying for their rent, groceries, or council tax in Ethereum.” They most certainly are. Countries like Turkey, UAE and Ukraine have crypto POS terminals that accept Ethereum, and as mentioned in El Salvador, Bitcoin is legal tender.
You throw some shade at it being a “libertarian’s dram” but crypto’s promise of financial liberation is not just hype, there’s nearly 2 billion people that are ‘unbanked’, effectively locked out of traditional banking either due to location (infrastructure or red tape) or through poverty. Crypto is a low cost alternative to services such as Western Union and all of the extortionate fees they charge (and line the pockets of their rich owners).
Yeah, Cyrpto isn’t perfect, but it is certainly not ‘bullshit’. It has come a long way in the past decade, has real institutional buy in from major banks and institutions, as well as regulation governing it on both sides of the Atlantic. Hopefully this offers some counter arguments and does away with the “Fugazi/line go up” comments that you might have come across. As I say, if the stuff above doesn’t defrost your opinion then that’s cool, I’m not pushing people into it, and each to their own, but I just thought there were some facts that weren’t truly represented. If you did want to know anything else then I’m more than happy
First off, thank you for the detailed comment.
I’m not sure that the countries you use as an example are all that great in fairness:
– Venezuela is a dumpster fire right now, with an economy smaller than Ethiopia and Iraq.
– Zimbabwe has a recent history of economic instability and hyperinflation, and their economy ranks in 101st place behind Nepal and Cambodia.
– El Salvador is an interesting one but from what I understand businesses are free to accept Bitcoin or traditional currency. Also, El Salvador’s economy ranks in 103rd place.
– Turkey allows people to hold crypto, but it’s not legal to use it as payment for goods and services.
– Ukraine is a bit of a mystery to me and seeing as though the country is fighting for its survival, it’s difficult to predict the long-term future of crypto there.
– In the UAE it seems a little unclear as to how much day-to-day business is conducted in crypto. However, a quick look on Google suggests approximately 0.2% of global transaction value used crypto.
If a major economy starts to integrate crypto in a significant way, I’d be interested to learn more about it. I’m predicting that, of the current major cryptocurrencies, none will stick around for the long-term.
I’m not a crypto-hater but neither am I a fan. For me, the crypto-ship has sailed and I’m unlikely to try to jump aboard, am just happy to watch from the side-lines.
I think crypto, in one form or another, will be around for a little bit. I don’t think the current ones will last though. I think it’s one of those things where the tech is interesting but no one has found a proper use for it yet.