Hello and welcome back to Mortgage Advisor on FIRE. This week I discuss my attempts to reduce my caffeine intake, some updates on my BTL, the usual financial updates, and some thoughts on boredom in retirement. Also, some thoughts on a dramatic end to the football league season. Finally, the return of the Tory Clusterfuck.
Weekly Update
I don’t think I’ve mentioned this before in the blog, but a month ago myself and a friend decided to cut back on the caffeine we were consuming. On a typical working day, I would have 3-4 lattes using my Nespresso set up in the kitchen. Having researched how much caffeine was in each pod, I was having more than the daily recommended amount of caffeine.
Also, because of the half-life of caffeine, I was at a point where there was a gradual build-up of caffeine in my system throughout the week. By the time I woke up later in the week, I already had about a coffee’s worth of caffeine in my system.
Anyone who knows me, knows I love my coffee. I was a bit nervous about cutting down but it’s gone well so far. I’m a month in, and during that month I’ve had one caffeinated drink each day, except for two times I had a second one as I had to tape my eyes open to stop from falling asleep. I feel better for it; several little health issues have improved, and I’m getting sleepy earlier in the day.
This week started with a bit of a scare. Last Sunday evening we were just getting ready for bed and we had some tealights that were still going from earlier in the day. We brought them through to the bedroom and thought we’d just let them burn out; something we do now and then. We rested them on a shelf as usual. Poppy, wise as she is, decided to jump up on the shelf and landed amid the tealights. She quickly leapt off.
There was a horrible smell of burnt fur and she was, understandably, shaken up. I managed to get close to her and calmed her down, speaking softly and petting her. Once we were able to get a look at her belly and paws we were relieved; no burns, just some singed tips on some fur. She’s been fine since, but for a few moments, it was a bit of a scare.
In all the years we’ve had cats and used candles and tealights, this is the first time we’ve had something like this happen. We will start putting them somewhere else that Poppy cannot possibly reach.
Saying that somehow Poppy was able to get on top of the bookcase we have in the living room that is around 2m tall. We don’t know how she managed this, but she was like a ninja. She got up there silently and without destroying anything. Cats are great. Crazy, but great.
We recently paid another visit to Tabby Teas Cat Cafe and loved it. I got to spend some time with Olaf, my favourite cat there, and I fed him some chicken. It’s so nice feeding them by hand and you can feel their teeth as they gently take the food from you. Olaf just looks so spaced out all the time, kind of like Super Hans from Peep Show;
Here are a few of the other cats from our last visit:
Oana started her new job this week as well. She is working in an admin role, which is non-customer-facing. This is definitely her preferred type of role. It’s hybrid, meaning three days in the office and two at home. It’s not ideal as she would prefer full-time WFH, but it’s a job and offers some opportunity for progression.
The office is in a fantastic location though, being in the middle of a new(ish) development next to a park. It’s as close to the centre of the city as you can get, and is about a 15-20 minute walk from our apartment; all uphill going to work, but downhill on the way back.
The Working Day
I’ve said it before, but it’s worth repeating; if I could go back in time and have a word with Henry Ford, I would ask him just what the hell he was thinking coming up with the 9-5 working day. There’s no reason why we couldn’t just agree to a standard 10-4 day, four days a week.
If I had complete power over our society, I would change the whole calendar, to be fair. I would make every month a standard 28 days, with the 1st falling on a Monday. We would then have 13 months. I would slot this month somewhere between September and October. It always feels like there’s a major change between those two months. This month would be called Scothenber, but I’m willing to discuss this.
Now, I know what you’re thinking… “But David, that only comes to 364 days?”
Ah, yes, you see I would also slot an extra day between New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. This would be a sort of bonus day. It would be hilarious, and terrifying, if we made this day a sort of Purge day where anything goes, but that might not be to everyone’s taste. When it’s a leap year we get two extra days between the NYE and NYD.
This sort of change would cause untold chaos across the globe but apart from that, I see absolutely no flaws in this plan.
I will not be taking any questions.
This Week’s Tory Clusterfuck
In 2022 Boris Johnson’s Tory government introduced new rules stating that people had to bring photo ID with them to vote. Johnson, the absolute moron that he is, arrived to vote this week without his ID and was turned away. Far from being a harmless, bumbling idiot, this man has done more damage to this country in my lifetime than any other PM.
**LIZ TRUSS HAS ENTERED THE CHAT**
I mean, what a fucking shitshow her time as PM was. The economic impact of her time as leader of the Tories is still being felt now. It’s almost as though you check your brain at the door when you take up residence at Number 10.
This week also saw the breaking news that Liz Truss had sold 2,228 copies of her new book detailing her 49-day term as Prime Minister. For those counting, it equates to roughly one book sold for every 30 minutes in role.
I daresay, I could probably sell more books about my blog than Liz Truss sold about her time as PM.
Looking Back
Part 9 of the Looking Back series is now live, and you can find it here.
What I’m Doing.
TV: MasterChef (BBC); Snooker World Championship (BBC).
Audiobook: Point Nemo by Jeremy Robinson (audible).
Masterchef has taken a back seat to the snooker for now. We’ve enjoyed the snooker this year as we’ve had more time to watch it. It’s been crazy how many top players have been eliminated. Had you predicted the final four players at the start, you would have been called crazy. I think I’m right in saying that if Bingham is knocked out in the semi, we’ll see a first-time world champion crowned.
I finished the first four books of the Bobiverse series and moved on to the latest Jeremy Robinson book. The Bobiverse books are brilliant and I would rate them as highly as The Expanse and Three-Body Problem series.
Sheffield Wednesday Football Club
I don’t often talk about football in this blog but I wanted to briefly discuss it this week. My club, Sheffield Wednesday, had an awful start to this season. After 13 league games, from a 46-game season, we had not won a single league fixture. Our manager at the start of the season, Xisco Munoz, was let go after ten games of truly awful football. We then appointed Danny Rohl, and once he’d had some time with the squad our fortunes started to improve. We avoided relegation with a fantastic run of form, culminating in taking 14 points from our last six games.
It’s the second season in a row where we’ve finished successfully despite the odds being stacked against us. Last year we had to overturn a 4-0 deficit from the first leg of the play-off semi-final, a feat never before seen, but we did and won promotion. Then, this season we looked certain for an instant return to League One. It’s never dull being a Wednesday supporter.
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Financial Update
Assets
Premium Bonds: £13,325.00.
Stocks and Shares ISA: £71,825.19.
Fuck It Fund: £15.60.
Pensions: £76,542.07.
Residential Property Value: £229,818.00.
BTL Property Value: £148,301.00.
Total Assets: £539,826.86.
Debts
Residential Mortgage: £172,359.25.
BTL Mortgage: £104,871.60.
Total Debts: £277,230.85.
Total Wealth: £262,596.01.
Investment Income in 2023: £2,386.69 (target £10,000).
I had a nice £200 win on the Premium Bonds this week. It’s always frustrating when I can’t report a win with a few more zeros, but it’s still a decent win. If I had the money I’ve invested in Premium Bonds in a normal savings account, it would take four or five months of interest to generate that return.
BTL Update
It looked like we were going to have a problem with this buyer but it might be ok after all. Once we had accepted their offer last week, the agent could not contact them to obtain all the necessary information, such as ID, proof of funds, and so on. The agent asked for our guidance and I told them to give the buyer until close of business Friday and if we still didn’t have what we needed, they should remarket the property.
The buyer did make contact and provided the information, so hopefully, it’s a simple transaction from here. The buyers are not in a chain, and neither are we, so there shouldn’t be any major obstacles.
I will be so happy to get rid of this property. I started out so optimistic but a combination of global events like Covid, the Truss government, war in Europe, and interest rates going crazy, in the context of tenants that were happy to trash the house… Yeah, a failed experiment.
Spreadsheets and Graphs
I’m stealing, or being inspired, by something The Intentional Scotsman posted in his recent blog. Almost everyone I know following an FI plan spends time running projections through spreadsheets. One graph that TIS had created was a bar chart to visualise how far along with FI he is.
The bar chart has twelve columns; one for each month, and the idea is to take your FI target amount and divide it by 12. Then, you fill each bar as your pot increases so you can see how many months your pot would last in a typical year.
It’s not an analysis but rather an interesting way to visualise progress. I’m going to run two of these; one for my ISA and one for my pensions. Assuming I need £600,000 in my pension (£24k p/a with a withdrawal rate of 4%), and £300,000 to last as a bridging fund for ten years (97% success rate with 8% withdrawal over ten years), this is the state of play:
FI and Boredom
Many people who scoff at the idea of early retirement exclaim something like, “I’d be bored if I retire early.” Anyone who thinks this is lacking imagination. There’s so much you can do now that doesn’t cost a lot of money and is highly accessible. Just because you have financial independence it doesn’t mean you can never work again. You could choose to work for a charity that means something to you. Or, you could explore any number of different Wikipedia rabbit holes. You could write, travel, read, or learn a new skill, hobby, or language.
When I talk to people who are pursuing FI, none of them seem to be concerned about what they will do to fill their time. I know when I’ve had extended periods without working, I’ve never been bored. We have access to the entirety of human knowledge available to us through the internet. There’s so much to do.
I agree that retiring and just sitting around doing nothing is not a good idea. It’s said that people age quickly when they no longer feel like they have a purpose. You need to have a “why”. You need to have a reason to want to retire early other than just not wanting to work.
What would you want to do with your time if you retire early? Let me know in the comments.
Disclaimer
The views and opinions in this blog are my own, and do not represent the views or opinions of my employer, nor should they be considered advice.
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I’m a great believer you have to retire to something, rather than from something for the same reason you mention.
In retirement, my plans is to travel. In my mind I see a ‘race across the world’ (a BBC TV show that me and Mrs Tsigalko love watching) style except instead of race with a budget matching the price of an economy plane ticket, we would do it for the price of a buisness class one. People on that show will travel on sleeper coaches sharing a bunk with a total strangers feet in their face. I’m not heading towards FI for that to be a highlight of the trip.
I like the idea of counting progress towards FI in a different way to normal. As I was reading it I got the wrong end of the stick at first and thought you were going down “how many months of the year would the 4% rule cover based on my current assets.” In this way my thoughts would be if you have a need for £2,000 a month and you have £100,000 invested, at 4% you have £4,000 of income a year, that would cover January and February every year from now onwards, and the next investment works towards covering March and so on.
A race across the world would be amazing. I’ve had a read about it but never seen it; might have to now.
If I RE, sleep. I want to become cat and be pampered, fed, watered, my poop cleaned up, cuddles, chin rubs, and 23h a day of sleep. I think its a sound plan 😹
Cats are on a whole other level. They demand we cater to their every whim, and at the same time convince us they’re the best.