Autism, Money, and Suicide

Content warning: Suicide

Living in a neurotypical world is difficult for autistic people, and the reasons for this are varied and differ from person to person. The common theme is that life in an NT world is a constant battle for ND (neurodivergent) individuals. Broadly speaking, many of the difficulties ND people face come from sensory and social triggers. Places that are too busy, too noisy, with lots of competing demands for sensory attention cause so much stress and anxiety that it can leave ND people feeling rough for days after.

Think about a bucket of water, which represents your mental stamina or “will to live”. Everyone has a bucket like this, and every demand on someone’s time or attention creates a leak in that bucket. However, from time to time the bucket is refilled. For many people, they get by in daily life with the bucket being refilled at the same rate it’s emptied, and there’s no problem here. For many ND people it’s a completely different situation.

Going to a restaurant…

Let’s assume that you are an ND person, and you are due to go to a restaurant you’ve not visited before. You research the restaurant and the best way to get there, as well as where the entrance is. You look at the menu and build an internal script for what you want to order and how you will do it. However, when you get to the restaurant they find that the normal entrance is closed for repair and you have to use a side door.

*ding*

The bucket now has a hole and water is slowly leaking out.

As you enter the restaurant you notice it is very busy. All tables are full, and there’s music coming from speakers, and the hustle and bustle of staff moving back and forth serving food.

*ding*

Another hole has been created in the bucket.

The competing demands on your attention are causing a lot of stress and anxiety. Your vision is starting to blur and you’re looking around in a sense of increasing panic trying to find your friends. Eventually you spot them, and stumble to the table, and sit down whilst trying not to have a panic attack.

After a while the panic seems to be subsiding, and then the waiter comes over to take your order. However, your mental script is thrown out because what you wanted to order is no longer available. You look at the menu feeling pressure as your friends look at you, waiting for you to order. Each second feels like an eternity. Your eyes can’t focus on anything. You eventually mumble an order and sigh with relief as the waiter walks away. You are on the verge of breaking down.

*ding* *ding*

Another couple of holes in the bucket. You are now leaking water pretty quickly. Every minute you are in this situation you can feel your energy draining. You need to leave. You need to leave now.

You somehow manage to hold it together, and then a little kid escapes from. their table and runs past screaming. The sudden noise is almost physically painful.

*ding*

Another hole in the bucket.

By the time you make it home, you are almost completely spent. A couple of hours of being out of your home has drained you to the point you need days to recover.

If you are autistic, you may see yourself in this scenario. You may have experienced something like this, but in a bar, workplace, shopping centre, or countless other places. This is not just feeling a bit overwhelmed. For autistic people, it’s like an overwhelming sensory barrage. It’s like wearing headphones playing multiple different songs at the same time, but all a little too loud for comfort.

A couple of stories about autistic people…

In the last 24 hours I’ve seen two things involving autistic people that have been upsetting in their own ways. The first was, on the face of it, fairly minor, but it’s just one example of the repeated micro aggressions that autistic and other ND people face. On social media a debate was ongoing about some part of popular culture, it doesn’t matter what exactly, and I want to protect the person’s identity. They had a little back and forth with someone and it was all polite and seemingly in good spirits. One of the participants explained that he’s autistic and had read this comment through a couple of times to make sure he understood. Someone else then replies telling them “don’t bring your disorder into the conversation.”

This was completely unnecessary and added nothing to the conversation. The only impact would have been on the person the comment was directed at.

The second story was about a young woman in the Netherlands who has chosen to be euthanised next month. This 28 year old woman is autistic, and has struggled with her mental health for some time. Now, she’s decided she wants to end her life. I’m not going to criticise her decision; it’s ultimately up to each person how they want to live and die, or at least it should be (within reason). If someone wants to end their life, and they are not doing it in the spur of the moment, and it’s a rational decision they’ve come to then I’d rather they did it in a medical setting rather than through some more traumatic means where someone has to discover the body.

Suicide is one of the leading causes of death for autistic people with a rate much higher than found in NT populations. Also, the life expectancy for autistic people is much lower than the NT population. There are many reasons why it’s more difficult to live in this world as a ND person, and there’s no single magic solution that will improve the lives of all ND people. One part of this is the financial difficulties autistic people face.

Research published on gov.uk suggests that autistic people face the biggest pay gap from any disability when compared to otherwise NT and non-disabled people. ND people earn roughly a third less than their peers. When considered in the context of reduced access to health care due to anxiety or not being taken seriously due to being autistic, it’s easy to see how autistic people can fall out of employment. People who are ND are more likely to be out of work, and living either on benefits or through the charity of others. There are exceptions, like with anything, but I’m talking about the collective ND population. If you have more financial worries, it will have an impact on your physical and mental health.

One of the leading causes of stress, depression, and ultimately suicide is money worries. If we can improve the financial literacy of autistic people, and their earning potential, then it may play a part in improving the lives of these people and lifting them out of the risk of suicide. Money isn’t everything, but it’s a lot when it comes to life satisfaction and mental health.

Autism and FI

I started down the FI path before I was identified as autistic. I had suspected for a while, but once it was confirmed it felt like a weight had been lifted in one sense. I am so fortunate that I found my job before I realised I was autistic because my autism related burnouts would have made it impossible for me to secure a job like this now. I can do my job to a good standard, but I don’t think I have the mental resources to start a new career now.

Like many autistic people my experience of a NT world is stressful and has left me somewhat diminished. I’m not in too bad a place right now; I’m getting by and have moderate levels of daily stress. It’s manageable. Much of this is due to the level of financial security I’ve created. Many autistic people do not have this luxury and for them, life is a constant struggle. I’m curious as to whether there’s a higher proportion of autistic people in the FI population than the general population, but that would be difficult to ascertain.

So, what’s the point of this post? If you are autistic then I encourage you to educate yourself about money. Once you know the rules of the game, you stand a better chance of winning at it. If you aren’t autistic, try to be conscious of the challenges autistic people face in their daily life. It might not always be obvious, and it might not be the same from person to person. Just try to be kind to each other whether you are ND or NT.

Thank you for reading. If you are struggling with mental health and/or money worries, please contact one of the organisations below:

StepChange

National Debt Line

Samaritans

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